Normally I’m not one to procrastinate. In fact I’m much more of a “delayed gratification” type of person. I save the frosting for last when I eat cake, I prefer workout before breakfast and I like to run my errands or pick up the house before I relax. I hate it when tasks hang over my head, especially things don’t particularly want to do.
I have had this television treatment project looming for months now and I am continuing to doing everything I can to avoid it. In my defense, many events transpired recently that made it easy to keep this project on the back burner – my grandmother getting sick and passing away, final edits on my manuscript for my publisher, Falling Star being published and all the marketing needed to successfully launch a book. Oh and there’s raising a child, having a husband and taking care of the house and our geriatric dachshund…I’m constantly struggling to juggle everything. It’s easy to let items I am struggling with fall to the wayside. Lately there have been interviews, meetings, spring break, school events, workouts – a million different reasons why I can’t carve out several hours in my day to sit down and write this treatment. But even I have to admit that it’s time to sit down and knock this project out.
I keep trying to figure out why this treatment seems so insurmountable. Let’s face it, I’ve already done the hard part – writing three books. All I have to do is break down the books into their themes, characters and events and outline what the television series would look like. The difficult part of creating the series is already done.
Yet as I might have mentioned before, I hate outlining. And even though this isn’t specifically a traditional outline, creating this document which hits all the important beats of the entire book series is a huge challenge. I also have to write a sample script for the pilot episode and in case you haven’t noticed, I am a novel writer, not a screenwriter.
These challenges are all conspiring together to make me feel insecure about my ability not only complete this project, but to do it in such a brilliant way that I will convince someone to spend millions of dollars on my series.
No pressure right?
I am at a crossroads with two diverging paths yawning before me. I can simply walk away from this whole television pitch idea, and take satisfaction in the fact that I have authored an award winning, recently best-selling series of books that readers truly connect with. I have achieved something that I have dreamed of accomplishing since I was a kid. I can turn to new projects I have lined up and knock out a new book in time to get published in 2024. There is no shame in taking this path.
But I know that in choosing this path, I am turning my back on the television pitch, not because it is an unworthy accomplishment, not because I have a snowflake’s chance in hell of actually selling my idea to a production company and seeing it made into a television series. Rather, I’d be walking away from this project because I’m scared. I’m scared to fail, I’m scared that I don’t have the talent to write an amazing treatment or the knowledge of how to format my script and treatment in a professional enough manner to be taken seriously (despite having the format of these pitches and knowing several very talented script writers who will help me.) I’d be walking away because of fear.
I hate it when I’m too scared to do something. It makes my stomach hurt, it steals my sleep at night and won’t let my mind rest. But it also makes me mad. I hate being scared. I hate that fear will keep me from trying something new just because the path isn’t clearly laid out before me, with guaranteed directions to success. I hate not knowing if I could have succeeded at something because I never took a chance. I hate being scared to the extent that I often run head first at the things that scare me the most. Even if it takes me a minute to get off the starting block.
So here I am, with no more reasons left to keep avoiding this television treatment. I am here because I believe my series is good enough to be seen on TV. It’s time to stop being scared of this treatment, of whether I can become a script writer or whether a production company will pick up this series. The time has come to put the work into the treatment. It might be a whole lot of work that comes to nothing if it doesn’t sell. But at least I will know that I tried my hardest, even if I fail.
And no one who ever chases a dream is a failure.
So starting tomorrow, after an interview for a favorite syndicated radio show of mine, I’m getting back to my script (page 11 is where I left off) and I’m going to stick with it until it’s finished. If I write a few hours every day there’s no reason why I can’t finish it in about two weeks. I already have the books to use as my roadmap. I just need to hop in the car, throw my fear in the trunk (preferably tied and gagged) and drive down that path at full speed.
I hope you decide to face down something you’re scared of this week. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once. But mostly terrifying, if I’m honest.
Happy Tuesday😬