🎂Happy Birthday, Mom!🎂

My mom’s birthday was this past weekend and she would have been 77 years old. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost four years since her death. My niece is graduating with her doctorate this week, England has a new King, my grandmother died, a pandemic shuttered the entire globe, my son is almost as tall as I am, TikTok took over the world, I’ve written an entire YA series, found an agent and publisher, won awards…and she’s missed it all.

My mom was an Anglophile through and through. She lived half the year in the Cotswold and discussing the Royals was a favorite pastime of hers. She would have loved every second of the coronation ceremony, not to mention the endless Harry and Megan drama. King Charles was kind enough to pick her birthday as the date of his ceremony.  My husband and I thought it would be a nice way to remember my mother by getting up in the middle of the night, donning an appropriately fussy fascinator (for me) and watching the pomp and circumstance unfold.

Later that day, we visited the cemetery and left flowers and cookies for her and other family members. Side bar: do you do anything special to remember your loved ones who have passed away? After cleaning the headstones and leaving flowers, I always place my grandfather’s favorite thumbprint fudge cookies on the headstones. I know the squirrels and birds just steal them when I leave, but I like to think my relatives appreciate the treat. 

With my mother passing so unexpectedly a few years ago, the opportunity say good bye was lost as was the chance to close the book on certain topics.  Answers or clarifications lost forever with her death, leaving irrevocable questions that unfortunately hang in the air at times like these, when I’m thinking about my mom. I always remember the good times we had and how much I miss her, but inevitably a painful lump lodges in my throat as I’m struck by the uncertainty of things I will never know.

I like to think that I am honoring my mother by learning from our relationship. I try to be open, opting not to put off the hard conversations with people I love and examining my feelings with a sharp eye, so I am not only clear about how I feel, but also that I understand how others feel and how my feelings and choices affect them. It’s been an important change that never would have happened had my mother not passed in the way she did. I hope she would be proud knowing that I’m making that change. 

Happy Tuesday💕